What is a vulnerability hangover?
You know that feeling after you’ve been somewhere new and you feel slightly uneasy but you can’t quite put your finger on why? It’s the feeling you get when you’re talking to someone and you feel like you’ve somehow overshared, and now you’re left out there in the cold, all vulnerable and the other person is just left there looking at you with blank eyes, like, “did she just say that?” It’s the feeling of adjusting to change, a curve ball or something that sits outside of your comfort zone, and boy can that feeling leave you feeling vulnerable, exposed and raw!
I’m on my back way from a feminine leadership. It was such a beautiful yet emotional experience which left me feeling inspired and motivated yet, also wired, tired and somewhat recoiling inside, craving something ‘familiar’ or perhaps for a better word; ‘safe’.
A group of 14 beautiful women came together on a cloudy day to share space, support one another, to lean in and learn more about ourselves in a bid to further our goals and dreams as we step up into the space of feminine leadership and what that may mean to each of us.
A day full of story telling, congratulating one another, unravelling our perceived limitations, moving our bodies with nourishing yin yoga, enjoying delicious soulful food, chakra dancing, balancing our energies, understanding more about what we need to do to overcome our fears and exploring what feels good to us individually as leaders. It’s fair to say, that constitutes a pretty incredible day, don’t you?
Whilst, my gratitude levels are soaring and I’m also feeling really grounded, I couldn’t quite shake this feeling and little voice saying, “what are you doing with your life, why are you here”. Then the voice got louder, “you’re so dumb” Huh? “You’re so dumb” the voice said again. I’ve had the best day so why is my inemy* rearing her ugly head now? I don’t understand I say to myself.
*Our inemy is what I’ve come to call our inner me, which is often confused with an enemy instead of being the girl that has our back, she frequently leaves us hanging out in solo town questioning every life choice we’ve ever made. Yep, it’s a thing.
I couldn’t help but feel drained, lethargic with that pit of dread in my stomach. I even thought perhaps I had some kind of weird head cold coming on. But what was wrong with me? This time, I leaned in and asked the beautiful Jo Kendall who was leading the workshop (without trying to sound like the biggest ungrateful bitch). and Jo’s response, “Oh honey, you’ve just got a vulnerability hangover. I’ve got one now too and I created the circle!”
Why is it that in order to shine we must first wade through the murky waters of darkness and unknown territories? I can hear my Nan’s voice saying, “nothing worthwhile was ever easy” - I know Nan, but really this much self doubt and energy depletion in order to move forward, how can that make sense?
Every time we put ourselves out into the realm of the unknown, uncertainty, when we step up and step forward towards ourselves and our dreams, we open ourselves to a sea of discomfort, confusion and even flu like symptoms as our minds, bodies and souls catch up and try to integrate the new changes and evolutions taking places within you. Growth and expansion isn’t to be feared, it might not be comfortable, but we can certainly lessen the burden each time we find ourselves in such a situation.
There’s a beautiful thing that happens when we ask for the dance of life, when we step up and claim our passions and purpose. The universe hears your call, your shift in energy, no matter how subtle and asks of you to tango with your dreams. It asks you just how much do you want it? Life is not linear nor is it black or white, and it certainly isn’t always smooth sailing. Things take time, perseverance and a willingness to never giving up.
A vulnerability hangover is part and parcel of the human experience and as with the flow of life, naturally what comes after stepping out and boldly stepping towards your dreams and goals? Things fall on the path and even downright come crashing down around you. Call it what you like - law of attraction, energy or even just physics.
so, if you’re currently experiencing a vulnerability hangover, then try this:
Get spotify playing some happy songs and dance around the room - a Disney playlist is a personal fave of mine! ;)
Get yourself out in nature - a hike, walk or even if it’s just to sit on a park bench. Mother earth is so damn calming.
Journalling - when you’re feeling all up in your head and over thinking, putting pen to paper can truly help with bringing you back into your body. Write it down and let it go.
Move your body - it needn’t be anything high intensity, a yin yoga movement sequence in your living room for 10 minutes is enough to get you back into your body.
Make a cup of herbal tea or even English breakfast with whatever milk takes your fancy - the hug in a mug action will help you to ground and come back into the present moment. When we feel exposed we’re not able to be present, we’re caught in past or future energies.
Watch something on TV or YouTube that makes you laugh or smile. There’s quite literally millions of animal videos on YouTube ready to make your heart melt!
Take a nana nap - sleep is the cure for almost anything.
Diffuse a grounding blend like peace, lemon and juniper berry in your diffuser for reassurance.
Have a relaxing massage to detox your lymph nodes and remove any other build up in your cells. Our bodies hold onto emotion just as much as our minds.
And finally, if you find yourself with a vulnerability hangover this week, remember you’re not in this alone, reach out and share where you’re at. And remember my sweet friend, just as the seasons come and go, this too shall pass.