Destination happiness is constantly thinking about happiness in a state anywhere other than right here, now in the present.
Thoughts such as:
“Once I fit into that pair of jeans or get that 6 pack…”
“Once I meet that guy or girl…”
“Once I land that killer job…”
“Once I move here or buy a house there…”
“Once we have a baby…”
See where i'm going with this? Do these humdrum of words sound familiar? It’s a never ending treadmill, and quite frankly it’s EXHAUSTING! The fact that social media allows us to moon over other people’s seemingly perfect and wonderfully curated lives only heightens the lure of destination happiness.
You ask yourself, “why can’t I be like Sally, Carol or Matt” who all seem SOOOO content, happy and have their shit figured out?
“Why don’t I have my shit figured out? What’s wrong with me?!
There must be something wrong with me…
Quick, let’s Google what’s wrong with me….
Well, according to Google and my symptoms...I’m dead.
But I’m too young to die? I haven’t even lived.
Why is there so much information?
What do I listen too and who do I trust?
Does anyone else have these thoughts?
Am I alone?”
I hear you.
I see you.
I know how you feel, because I am you.
You crave contentment. You desire connection. You want happiness. You constantly feel like there’s always more to life than you are currently experiencing.
But why do you feel that?
You have a sense that there’s something or somewhere else that you're meant to explore or pursue.
But you have no idea how, what or even why.
The constant feelings of unease and restlessness course through you like waves in an ocean.
But what are you searching for?
The momentary distractions come in the form of nights out with friends, shopping trips and great holidays but then you’re always back to where you started.
It’s just you. Out in the cold.
This feeling has been with you for quite a while. In fact, it’s probably been there for as long as you can remember.
The constant stream of thoughts, feelings and ideas.
The lack of momentum and direction in where or how to start.
But how can you start when you don't know what are you looking for?
Would you even know if you found it?
You may have even entertained exploring this need or desire in the past but of course life happens and before you know it, it’s been a year since you allowed yourself the space to think that there must be another option or another way of living life.
But that feeling of unsettlement and discomfort is here again.
You can feel it.
And this time, that feeling is louder than ever.
This time, it’s crying out for you to fill the pages of your life with its calling.
You no longer can push the feeling aside or pretend that "that's just life".
It simply feels to painful to sit and remain the same.
That feeling or need to settlement and contentment is here again, yet this time, it's your time to ask the bigger questions:
Why do I feel like this?
And What am I going to do to move through and/or change this?
We end up living a state of constantly feeling like there’s more to life than we are currently experiencing. But why do we feel that? The constant feelings of unease and restlessness course through us like waves in an ocean. So how do we begin to break the cycle and learn how to stop wishing our lives away, move away from the perfectly curated social media feeds and stop looking for happiness anywhere other than our own backyard?
In order to move through destination happiness it’s important for us to first understand what the feelings of unsettlement are about, where they come from and how we can grow and learn from them. Seeing it as a chance to unravel what the greater meaning and message is behind these thoughts and feelings. And by taking the time to explore the unease and uncertainty, better enabling us to learn more about our own truth and to feel content within ourselves and our lives.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful and simple exercises we can cultivate to take us out of a state of too much future and not enough present. Even on our grumpiest and most down and out days, if we allow ourselves, there is always something to be grateful for.
So today, think of 5 things in your life that you’re grateful for, in this very moment. We’re not looking for anything about the future, our goals or our dreams. We’re simply taking the time to remember all that we have in our lives that we cherish today.
In French it’s called ‘joie de vivre’ meaning an exuberant enjoyment of life, in Danish ‘hygge’ which translates to a feeling or mood that comes from taking genuine pleasure in making ordinary, everyday moments more meaningful, beautiful or special and in Japanese ‘ikigai’ is that sense of purpose in life that gets us out of bed in the morning and brings you satisfaction. In Japanese culture, finding your ikigai is a long journey that involves a lot of personal reflection and soul-searching.
So whatever you want to call it; joie de vivre, hygge, ikigai, Peter Pan or flying unicorns - for all it really matters - it is your divine birthright to explore, create and manifest a life that leaves you feeling connected to yourself, content and feeling settled in all areas of your life; including mind, body and soul.
It’s time to stop taking fulfilment shortcuts and waiting for your real life to begin.
This is your time.
And your journey within.
Until next time,