Destination Happiness

Are you Suffering from Destination Happiness?

Are you Suffering from Destination Happiness?

Destination happiness is constantly thinking about happiness in a state anywhere other than right here, now in the present.

 

Thoughts such as:

“Once I fit into that pair of jeans or get that 6 pack…”

“Once I meet that guy or girl…”

“Once I land that killer job…”

“Once I move here or buy a house there…”

“Once we have a baby…”

Being Your Own Village

Sometimes life requires us to be our own village. To stand strong on our own and not let the wind be taken from our sails. 

What the hell are you jabbering on about Frou? Patience, smarty pants, patience. 🙏🏼

When we pursue or go after that big beautiful bag of dreams it often requires us to be in the possession of many different skill sets, some of which are totally alien to us. Most of us will rely on our village or network for support in the form of leaning on loved ones during times of hardship as we charter the unknown, asking for favours from acquaintances, right through to paying someone for their specialised skills. Think website designers, photographers, social media mangers, etc.
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Through our lifetimes we naturally embody many roles, all of which are representative of our capacity for self sufficiency and self determination. There are many different moments in our lives, where we are required to be our own counsellor, friend, teacher, caregiver, healer and student.

On a daily basis, whether consciously or otherwise, you're adapting and learning the tools you need to take care of yourself. In today's culture we are groomed to pick one thing to be good at, one thing to master and excel at in life. While learning and specialising in one discipline isn't inherently bad, it often leaves us feeling massively uncomfortable making decisions on our own for ourselves, regarding health, wellbeing and happiness. To take responsibility for our own lives is really just a matter of believing that we can cope with and learn the necessary skills so that whatever may come our way we are strong enough both inside and out to deal with it.
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So being your own village doesn't mean you're telling everyone to 'eff off nor is it about embracing isolation or closing off from other people. By being your own village you're actually strengthening the connection for not only your inner landscape and ability to make the choices to charter your own ship (come on, we're all going on a journey here...the journey of lifeeeeee 🤗 cheeseeeee 🧀🙊😂) BUT it also strengthens your outer village or your homies and peeps as I believe some people call them!

Why that Travelling Bug Never Really Goes Away.

Words By Frou Williams.

Growing up I never really travelled much, if at all. When you grow up in a family with four children and on a one parent income, holiday's were never really something in our vocabulary. Building forts in the garden, racing on toy tractors and playing cricket with my brothers whilst smashing all the plant pots on the other hand (and often the windows...eek sorry mum)!

When I was old enough to go on my first holiday with friends, we did the typical booze laden, come as you are, 18-30's, girls on tour...complete with printed t-shirts and hot pants. Oh the horror. Those were the days where you could get a 2 week holiday for £199 and we lived off ouzo and pot noodles. #balance ;)

Despite the fact we managed to get our drinks spiked, half the group ended up in hospital and all somehow fell in 'love' and just as quickly had our hearts broken by some holiday rep or another, my take away from this experience was that there was an entire universe of goings on around me that didn't just involve my little world of everything I had ever known. My mind was simply blown.

The world to me, in my early days of travel was a vastly big and scary place. Being away I felt out of my comfort zone, somehow unready for that world and yet strangely excited and liberated all at the same time. That feeling of unease, unsettlement, yearning for something more but also not quite feeling ready has stayed with me for a large part of my adult life, yes, even as I ventured out of the booze Britain holidays and on to what you might consider a more civilised and cultural affair! Well...not always civilised or indeed cultural but yah balance and life and learnings, right?! :p

In my late teens I decided that I would spend my life traveling as often and for as long as I possibly could. Experience, adventure, new beginnings, new sights and new learnings. I've been lucky enough to see a lot of the world and trust me, there are still more than a lifetime of places on my bucket list. Travel has shaped my entire life and the world around me in so many ways. Even as I've been back in the UK for the last two months I am constantly looking and thinking of ways to experience and have an adventure in my own country and in my own backyard. Ah, the to-do list of a never ending student of the world.

An ex once said to me, "Frou you can't do everything you want to do in life, you have to pick a few things and be happy with that" and my response was, "Even if I'm 90 and I'm still ticking off that list then I'll do it. Gin in hand!" To me, travel isn't a case of packing a backpack and off I go, it's a mindset. A mindset of exploration, to uncover, to seek out and delve deeper into the world around you. And to do that you too must explore, uncover, seek out and delve deeper into yourself. To challenge and stretch your beliefs as you encounter people, places and things that throw you off track for one reason or another. It's hard, it's painful and often a long and lonely journey but one that I would never swap for anything else in this world.

 

“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.”

Take relationships for example, those are often our biggest lesson learners in life. In every heartache we learn, we grow and hopefully we take the lesson with us as we continue throughout our lives. Sometimes, it takes us 5  (okay maybe 10 times, *ahem*) to learn the lesson, along with many tears and confused phone calls to friends around the world but the point is, this is your journey and it will take you however long it takes you. In other words, we shouldn’t view setbacks or as I prefer to call them, direction changers, be it emotional, physical, spiritual or geographical as a break between being there and being here. There's no A to B, in life rarely is it black and white. To me it's more about, bringing the “there” to the “here.”

When change happens, be it positive change such as travel or perhaps seemingly negative change such as heartbreak (trust me, you'll be SO glad that door slammed shut in your face, maybe not today or tomorrow but down the line) it provides a wonderful space for us to reflect and reevaluate on where we are at currently, where we want to go and where we've come from.

Relationships and travel are not too dissimilar - both can make you feel vulnerable, raw and exposed yet in the blink of an eye make you feel euphoric, alive and unstoppable. They both form the emotional evolution that accompanies our physical journeys. Both are simply movement - movement alone or with others, not only across time and space but also encompassing different moods and feelings.

Physically traveling or staying in one place, both give us the option of learning new ways of being present. Present in the moment, present with loved ones and present with self. Not an easy task. All of our experiences be them good or bad are never really good or bad just an opportunity to learn. And although we don’t often recognise it at the time, those experiences continue to exert an influence on our daily lives as we head into the next lesson where we undoubtedly face more challenges, feelings of euphoria and feelings of down right 'sh*t what the hell am I doing' - luckily it's what makes being human so beautiful. Painful and exhausting yes, but beautiful.

Travels is never just about the departure. It marks the beginning. A willingness and openness to find out more about a place and its people and ultimately to discover more about yourself as you go.

There's that saying that goes:

 

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” - Terry Pratchett

 

I know that my life's a journey of discovery, renewal, experimentation and sometimes downright trial and error. Those who know me have come to know that simply as 'me'.  No matter where we are in the world we are continually engaging memories, reigniting passion and reliving experiences which ultimately then creates new experiences. That is why the travelling never really ends even if you do chose to stand still for a while or indefinitely. Travel is a journey of the heart not the destination.

To where ever you may be.

Hugs,

Frou xo

Are you Suffering Perfection Paralysis?

Are you Suffering Perfection Paralysis?

Have you ever heard of the term perfection paralysis? One of the ultimate quests for millennials is the pursuit of the perfect life. We're all searching for it.

We want do it all, see it all and be it all...like, yesterday. But in our search for the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect apartment, the perfect partner and the perfect friends are we so afraid of making the wrong choice, of committing, of making a mistake or simply overwhelmed with the vast options presented in front of us that we are merely bystanders on the sidelines of our own lives, only ever dipping our toes into the arena we call life? Are we a generation of commitment-phobes or are just in need of a new approach? 

What to do When you've Lost Sight of the Shore...

Words by Frou Williams.

On 2 April 1911 - thousands of women across Britain 'hid' from authorities to avoid being counted in the 1911 Census. The idea was that if women could not vote - they would not cooperate with the Government by being counted.

Why am I sharing this? Scrolling through social media at the streams of photos that people share, be it a beach, sunset, brunch, couple in love or a lycra clad body (the list goes on) - it's easy to lose sight of where you've come from and what you offer here today in the present moment; exactly as you are. 

Maybe this weekend you overindulged on booze, had too much cake, didn't sleep enough, was cranky with your partner, wasn't as present as you'd like to be, didn't go to the gym and maybe you didn't even wash your hair. Whenever I have my own moments of doubt or my inemy (that pesky inner critic) pipes up, I try to remind myself not only of how far I've come on an individual level, be it mind, body or soul but how far we collectively have come.

When I first start working with any client, we look back at where they've come from, medical right through to family and genetic history. Why? Because this makes up you. The nose on your face, the width of your hips and the size of your feet makes up a story from your ancestors. A beautiful tapestry that makes you 'you'. Only by looking back through history, be it our own, our families or culturally can we then understand how and what we need to do to move forward.

And when looking back, what a humbling experience in that if my biggest worry revolves around overindulgence, not making the gym, being able to do a handstand in yoga or fitting in a certain size of clothes then I consider myself incredibly privileged.

Don't get me wrong, having goals are important - there are no two ways about it but if you're anything like me, you hate the idea of positive affirmations. It conjures images of staring into a mirror and saying over and over 'you got this' - it just makes me cringe and think of that episode of Friend's and Bruce Willis 'you're just a love machine😂'.

Sadly lots of us are uneasy and dissatisfied with our lot, yet most of us know this to be true but we still get bogged down, anxious and even flat out depressed thinking we're living a life less than all our social media peers, friends and gym buddies. The power of the mind is incredible. Our minds are as important as our bodies, if not more so, in terms of our general health and wellbeing.

The point is, you're worth more than your weight, the filters and often the disillusion we build up of ourselves and where or who we 'should' be in our minds. 

So if nothing else, I hope you reflect on this weekend and know that whilst it's important to have goals, aspirations and to strive for excellence it's also important to give yourself a freaking break, pat yourself on the back for being human and acknowledge how fortunate we truly all are and appreciate all that we've come from.

Happy Sunday folks x

Why Should we Set Goals?

Why Should we Set Goals?

Setting goals is a super powerful tool. Whether it be focused around cultivating self acceptance, finding purpose or building a business that lights you up. Sounds simple right?

Well, no. Setting goals is one thing but creating the desire to actually want to complete those goals & that 'call to action' is another thing altogether.

Why you Should Always Listen to Your Heart.

Words By Frou Williams.

Australia.

Wow.

What an adventure. What a story!

You've pulled me apart and put me back together in ways I never thought possible. A shinier, more gut friendly Froubie if you will.

If, we as humans think in metaphors and learn through stories then to be a storyteller to one small fragment of this thing we call the World Wide Web, this is my story.

When I left the UK it's fair to say I was running away. I guess you could say I was running away from myself. Absolutely heartbroken over the sudden shock of losing Nandog who alongside my wonderful Rodgie raised me and my darling brothers, I took myself off to one of the furthest possible places in the world where I can hand on my heart say I've experienced some of the best and worst moments of my life, a pendulum of extremes, travelled to some serious bucket list worthy places, laughed until I've almost peed (a little doesn't count right?!), met some of the greatest people and made life long friends, navigated through some of my loneliest and darkest days to date, battled with one gastroenterologist, medical issue and healthcare bill fiasco after another and not to mention completed about 50 gazillion different courses! (Gosh, the girl does love a course 😝)

During what were my most lonely and sheer 'what the hell are you doing' moments, I would often think back to the stories that Nandog would share with me and in particular how at the age of 21, packed up her little life in London, boarded a ship to go and live in the jungle in Borneo with her soon to be husband (my grandad) where they married, she went on to have 3 children and taught in the missions; suddenly my cushy Bondi beach life with regular Skype's back home didn't quite compare! 😉

She believed in the adventure, the sharing of stories and even in her final years went on to live through the telling of my own stories. I've learnt so much about life and myself in these last 15 months and now more than ever as I enter a new chapter, I am loving watching these stories unfold. So as the age old saying goes, "Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."

Which made me think, no matter what you do in your life, no matter what you create, what career you have... Your greatest creation is always going to be your life's story.

And in this time of 'information overload', people do not need more information. They want a story they can relate to. So with the most cheesy tourist Australian picture I could find, it's time to wave goodbye to one chapter and cheer on the next. 👋🏼👋🏼 We owe it to each other to tell our stories, so together, let's tell them well.

Cheerio for now old Sydney chops 🐨💗🐨

Hugs,

Frou xo