Life

How To Become a Better Decision Maker

How To Become a Better Decision Maker

The first thing that needs to be understood about your decisions is that it is a valuable resource. One of the greatest favours we can do for ourselves is to take time to understand that our time, effort and personal experience is valuable. For this reason, the choices we are faced with can weigh heavily on us. As their importance becomes emphasised, proportionately so does our stress surrounding those decisions.

Being Your Own Village

Sometimes life requires us to be our own village. To stand strong on our own and not let the wind be taken from our sails. 

What the hell are you jabbering on about Frou? Patience, smarty pants, patience. 🙏🏼

When we pursue or go after that big beautiful bag of dreams it often requires us to be in the possession of many different skill sets, some of which are totally alien to us. Most of us will rely on our village or network for support in the form of leaning on loved ones during times of hardship as we charter the unknown, asking for favours from acquaintances, right through to paying someone for their specialised skills. Think website designers, photographers, social media mangers, etc.
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Through our lifetimes we naturally embody many roles, all of which are representative of our capacity for self sufficiency and self determination. There are many different moments in our lives, where we are required to be our own counsellor, friend, teacher, caregiver, healer and student.

On a daily basis, whether consciously or otherwise, you're adapting and learning the tools you need to take care of yourself. In today's culture we are groomed to pick one thing to be good at, one thing to master and excel at in life. While learning and specialising in one discipline isn't inherently bad, it often leaves us feeling massively uncomfortable making decisions on our own for ourselves, regarding health, wellbeing and happiness. To take responsibility for our own lives is really just a matter of believing that we can cope with and learn the necessary skills so that whatever may come our way we are strong enough both inside and out to deal with it.
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So being your own village doesn't mean you're telling everyone to 'eff off nor is it about embracing isolation or closing off from other people. By being your own village you're actually strengthening the connection for not only your inner landscape and ability to make the choices to charter your own ship (come on, we're all going on a journey here...the journey of lifeeeeee 🤗 cheeseeeee 🧀🙊😂) BUT it also strengthens your outer village or your homies and peeps as I believe some people call them!

Just How Much Do You Want it?

We're surrounded by passive aggressive societal guilt trips on a daily basis, jumping out at us from beneath our screens, screaming, ‘hey you, chubs, don’t you know abs are made in the kitchen’, a society that hails us to be better and do better every single day. A society that tells us there's no excuses, plain old black and white - how much do you want it? 

Let's face it, life ain't perfect (in fact it's really freaking hard, it's full of twists and turns, ups and downs and not to mention the u-turns and plot twists thrown in just for bants 😲) so I'm calling you on it and asking you to give yourself a compliment. 

Yes you.

Right here, right now. Just one thing that's not based on aesthetics that you like about yourself... ✨

What's the first thought that comes to mind? 

Either comment below or email me (francesca@deathbylycra.com)⠀⠀⠀

Why me? I am not enlightened, I drink coffee, eat meat, get pissed off, feel more than emotional on any given day, fight with loved ones, have insomnia and days where I hate my body. I don't possess a magic key to life only a desire to create space for people to transform their lives and to facilitate work in the areas in which people want to wake up, shake up and dream up. Think of me like a taxi driver to a deeper dimension. Simply helping you get to where you need to go.

So if we know life isn't perfect then neither should we be. Perfect is boring and perfect is beige. And who's got time for beige? (All the beige lovers be like 🙋🏼🙋🏽🍞)⠀⠀⠀

So sometimes you just need a freaking donut, a glass of wine, maybe even a bucket of wine - hoho - heck sometimes you have the kind of days where a shot of tequila in the eye and a Valium tranquilizer seems like the only viable solution. We’ve all been there my friend.

And what's more, most of us will still do all the above but just mentally torture the crap out of ourselves for our sins or lack of willpower after. And why? Why do you think it's okay to be so mean to yourself? We all do it but it doesn't make it okay. 

It's not always easy but those shades of grey are the moments you look back on with fondness as a life well lived - so today whether you grab the pizza, hit a yoga class, dance on tables or sprinkle cacao nibs from Narnia everywhere - whether it be with friends, with the cat or simply in our own company - just own wherever you are at today.

Allowing ourselves to make conscious choices and taking responsibility for ourselves is not easy, nor is it an overnight journey. There's no end goal or destination. Just you, me and a whole lot of love for this thing we call life. 

Now, tequila for one anyone? 

Do you Believe in Magic?

Words by Frou Williams.

Folklore and fairies date back to as early as the 13th century. Most of us think of fairies as tiny creatures, flitting about with shiny pretty wings, waving a magic wand, but history and folklore tell a different tale.

Oh hello Mr Hobgoblin 👋🏼👹 (although apparently these guys are the goodies - they help with housework so you might want to let them stay 😜)

Are you Suffering Perfection Paralysis?

Are you Suffering Perfection Paralysis?

Have you ever heard of the term perfection paralysis? One of the ultimate quests for millennials is the pursuit of the perfect life. We're all searching for it.

We want do it all, see it all and be it all...like, yesterday. But in our search for the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect apartment, the perfect partner and the perfect friends are we so afraid of making the wrong choice, of committing, of making a mistake or simply overwhelmed with the vast options presented in front of us that we are merely bystanders on the sidelines of our own lives, only ever dipping our toes into the arena we call life? Are we a generation of commitment-phobes or are just in need of a new approach? 

If you Had to Write a Letter to your Younger Self, What Would you Say?

Words by Frou Williams.

Dear Froubie,

Argh college is over, Uni is here and I know you're feeling overwhelmed, not ready and uncertain but that's totally okay. You're worrying that everyone around you has their sh*t figured out and you do so for much of your 20s but trust me when I say everyone is winging it.

Everyone.

Getting older is weird.

At school and in college everything is done and worked out for you and you're super impatient to start life. Hold back. I know it's not in your nature but try to relax. You don't need to rush anything. Even when you rush, life is going to throw you obstacles to get you back to your natural flow of where you're meant to be so try as best as you can to enjoy the ride.

After you graduate suddenly there's no 'structure' in your life anymore. This is going to freak the hell out of you but don't let it. Remember what I said about the ebbs and flows of life and hey, stop drinking all those jäger bombs, they're not good for your tummy (you'll thank me late 20s when you have some unexpected health issues with your gut relating to stress). If you can, take up yoga now - it's going to play a massive part in your life and really helps you to to remain in the now and to accept yourself as the truly awesome human you are.

In your 20s you're going to go a bit nuts with all the freedom, you're going to live in London, travel the world, meet many, many people, have your heart broken multiple times, meet many, MANY of the wrong kind of guys and a few of the good kind but don't get too disheartened you were never here to worry about finding your soul mate or to follow the 2:4 family route and even at 18 if you are honest with yourself you know that but it's painful to admit it right? You're going to have so much fun (yes and a lot of frustration and confusion) as you come to accept that.

That fire in you to travel and for adventure only gets stronger as you get older and you spend much of your 20s on and off planes, finding your feet and losing them all over again. In your late 20s you're going to move to Australia. I know, right? You never even wanted to go to Oz but an opportunity comes up at work and you've just broken up with someone again (sorry sweetie) and you jump at the chance. This is going to change your life. As you reach the end of your 20s you're going to start wondering what it's all about and if there's 'more to life than this' - you're going to spend a good few years, a lot of time and money retraining and learning new skills. You need to learn to listen to yourself and heed the call of your heart. Not what everyone else around you thinks you should or could do but what do YOU want. You've spent much of your 20s torn with thoughts of 'what ifs' and should I have taken this path or that.

You're going to feel torn between choosing a corporate and familiar path and that of a totally different and unchartered path (a need inspired and motivated to help others through your own challenges) and yet another big change is coming. You now know what you want from life but you worry so much if it's not aligned with your ideal view that you stop to live what's in front of you. Stop. Breathe. Go to yoga. Go for a run.

You really ought to get used to the mass exodus and sea of change because that's the only certainty in life and absolute guarantee in yours my love but once all is said and done this one is going to knock you for six and it's going to take you a lot of soul searching and courage to get you to the next chapter. You'll do it. You always do. We'll call you bounce because you always bounce back no matter what knocks you down.

At this point, you start to realise that you really were strong enough to do everything and nothing all on your own. You feel free, liberated and in control of your life. When you realise the only thing you can control is your happiness and not your surroundings or the people around you then you shift into a totally different gear. You come to terms with the fact that you are the master of your own happiness and not some twist of random fate. When you realise this you're going to be annoyed with wasting so much time and energy in your 20s but don't, it's just more wasted energy. Breathe. Let it go. The only thing that it consumes is you and you don't need to go down the route of bed bound by gut again. Ever.

Always remember wherever you decide to launch off the lily pad, there are lessons to learn in wherever you land. And you will get back on your feet and launch to another lily pad again soon. Nothing is ever permanent.

Smile bounce, you got this xo