The first thing that needs to be understood about your decisions is that it is a valuable resource. One of the greatest favours we can do for ourselves is to take time to understand that our time, effort and personal experience is valuable. For this reason, the choices we are faced with can weigh heavily on us. As their importance becomes emphasised, proportionately so does our stress surrounding those decisions.
Sometimes life requires us to be our own village. To stand strong on our own and not let the wind be taken from our sails.
What the hell are you jabbering on about Frou? Patience, smarty pants, patience. 🙏🏼
When we pursue or go after that big beautiful bag of dreams it often requires us to be in the possession of many different skill sets, some of which are totally alien to us. Most of us will rely on our village or network for support in the form of leaning on loved ones during times of hardship as we charter the unknown, asking for favours from acquaintances, right through to paying someone for their specialised skills. Think website designers, photographers, social media mangers, etc.
Through our lifetimes we naturally embody many roles, all of which are representative of our capacity for self sufficiency and self determination. There are many different moments in our lives, where we are required to be our own counsellor, friend, teacher, caregiver, healer and student.
On a daily basis, whether consciously or otherwise, you're adapting and learning the tools you need to take care of yourself. In today's culture we are groomed to pick one thing to be good at, one thing to master and excel at in life. While learning and specialising in one discipline isn't inherently bad, it often leaves us feeling massively uncomfortable making decisions on our own for ourselves, regarding health, wellbeing and happiness. To take responsibility for our own lives is really just a matter of believing that we can cope with and learn the necessary skills so that whatever may come our way we are strong enough both inside and out to deal with it.
So being your own village doesn't mean you're telling everyone to 'eff off nor is it about embracing isolation or closing off from other people. By being your own village you're actually strengthening the connection for not only your inner landscape and ability to make the choices to charter your own ship (come on, we're all going on a journey here...the journey of lifeeeeee 🤗 cheeseeeee 🧀🙊😂) BUT it also strengthens your outer village or your homies and peeps as I believe some people call them!
We're surrounded by passive aggressive societal guilt trips on a daily basis, jumping out at us from beneath our screens, screaming, ‘hey you, chubs, don’t you know abs are made in the kitchen’, a society that hails us to be better and do better every single day. A society that tells us there's no excuses, plain old black and white - how much do you want it?
Let's face it, life ain't perfect (in fact it's really freaking hard, it's full of twists and turns, ups and downs and not to mention the u-turns and plot twists thrown in just for bants) so I'm calling you on it and asking you to give yourself a compliment.
Have you ever heard of the term perfection paralysis? One of the ultimate quests for millennials is the pursuit of the perfect life. We're all searching for it.
We want do it all, see it all and be it all...like, yesterday. But in our search for the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect apartment, the perfect partner and the perfect friends are we so afraid of making the wrong choice, of committing, of making a mistake or simply overwhelmed with the vast options presented in front of us that we are merely bystanders on the sidelines of our own lives, only ever dipping our toes into the arena we call life? Are we a generation of commitment-phobes or are just in need of a new approach?