Words By Frou Williams.
I don't know about you, but I'm so tired of seeing the one size fits all restrictive diet plans.
You know the ones I mean. The ones where you feel you might as well be eating cardboard for the lack of taste and excitement coming from that suggested meal plan or to the point where you can't even open your Facebook or Instagram without being made to feel guilty about not having thighs that don't touch, about not having an 18 year old metabolism anymore or the fact that you don't have a boyfriend who follows you round with a camera photographing every macro you so much as put near your mouth.
Yeah. That one.
Never before has our society seen pace and movement at the rate in which we are experiencing it today. There is quite literally no off button and this is having detrimental effects on our health and wellbeing. We need to shake off the serious and relearn the childlike ways of enjoying our food and workout time. Nutrition and fitness should be a positive experience in our lives not a hindrance or something that makes us feel shame or guilt. Long-term nutritional habits trump diet plans and 'rules'. Always.
I prefer to use a more (dare I say it) gentle nutritional and fitness progression model which looks at building habits sustainably over time. By taking the time to delve deeper below the surface of current jeans size and looking at psychological change versus asking people to 'follow a diet' (which often means doing a full lifestyle overhaul on day one).
There's no one absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt best diet for everyone. Humans have evolved to do well under all sorts of dietary conditions. That's why I'm happy to help people find the best one for them, no matter their dietary preferences. Of course, this is a big win for my clients: they get in shape doing more of the things they actually like. And a win for me: I get to help more people.
Let me listen to your needs. What you want to accomplish. How you live. What's really important to you. Then let me help you create the right dietary and fitness approach for you; one that's specific to your goals and your lifestyle.
Because that's what coaching really is.
To help generation selfie and whatever generation comes next, see that health and wellness isn't about torturing yourself to achieve the unachievable. It's about finding balance, being kind to yourself, learning to love yourself (yes I'm going all new age and hippy on your now) because life is tough. It's a battle field out there and it's not only about learning those tools in a single one off school of life but it's about putting those lessons and tools into practice, every, single, day.
Because you will have days where you:
Feel crap and don't see the point in anything
Feel fat and puffy (yes even Victoria's Secret supermodels have those days you know)
Have your heart broken
Not feel good enough
Fail an exam
Not get that promotion
Get told off, be it by a boss, a teacher, even the bus driver...People can be mean. It's a sad fact of life.
Want to give up healthy eating, going to the gym, on friendships, relationships, heck you'll even have days you want to sell your own family
Stay under the covers and hide
Call in sick to work
Eat ice cream
Cry for no reason
Eat more ice cream
Perhaps days where you want to give up on life itself…
BUT you see, the longer you let all these things be your primary focus you're preventing yourself from being that badass woman we all know and ultimately you know deep down that you're capable of being.
It's about standing up, dusting yourself off and trying a goddamn gain tomorrow!
It's not letting other people eat away at your own self worth or giving them permission to judge your own personal journey. Because people will judge, boy will they judge. You just have to learn the tools and to know yourself well enough to not let someone else's opinion or beliefs derail your own.
It's about accepting who you are and continually learning how to be a better version of yourself than you were the day before (in whatever way you may deem that 'version' to be). It's not about being the best. Sadly, you, nor I, will ever be the best. No matter who you are, there will always be someone better looking, with longer legs, tighter abs, more money, more funny, more intelligent (you get my point). But there is a wonderfully unifying thought for all of woman kind, and that's even Jennifer Anniston has fat days. Yep. I meant to write that.
Seriously, even those women who regularly dominate the world's best looking charts and the women whose Instagram pages we paw over have bad days where they feel out of balance, fat, frumpy, unattractive, lonely, uninspired, you name it. Sadly, it's part of the parcel of being human. At least, we all have that in common, we all ALL imperfectly human.
Thousands of years ago, before the advent of modern conveniences, humans struggled to escape from predators in order to survive. (You're wondering how this is relevant, bear with me). The escapism mechanism our brains used, the fight or flight response, was passed down to subsequent generations because it was a useful tool for survival. Fast forward a couple of millennia and we still have that fight or flight response yet in today's society, unless we're really unfortunate, we don't have to strive for daily survival. Somewhere along our evolutionary path we stopped using this mechanism to fight off danger and instead now use it to fight other humans. I'm not talking physical fights, although of course those do happen, I'm talking in reference to being the best, who has the better job, the most money, most attractive and ultimately who wins this contest in modern warfare is he who has the most power.
We waste our time and energy wishing that we could look like the girl (or guy) we saw walking down the stress, on the TV, in the gym or on that YouTube video. We live in a permanent state of the grass is always greener anywhere other than here in our own backyard and convince ourselves that if only we could be the size of the girl on the front of the magazine or have her hair / her eyes / her make up / her nails (you name it, we want it) that we'll be happy or perhaps more guys and girls will like us. That we'll fit in. We'll belong. Is that really what we scrutinise and punish ourselves for, to fit in? One thing is for certain, we are not alone in our pursuit of this universal ideology.
If you look closely there is wonder and awe to be found in every life and in every direction as far as the eye can see but somewhere along the way generation selfie forgot about community, that sense of togetherness and began to focus on 'I'. We lost our way amongst the filters, the mixed messages from the media telling us what size we needed to be, what colour our hair should be, that unless we fitted a nice mould of what the perfect man or woman was then we were misfits. We became selfish, insecure and started hating not only what was on the outside but what was on the inside too.
We yearn for things we can't have and fill our lives with things that don't ultimately make us happy because we aren't really focussing on what really matters.
We push our minds and bodies to the limit on a daily basis in our pursuit of the perfect life but punish and scold ourselves when we slip up and make mistakes.
We forgot what it was like to look at people as the real flawed and imperfectly wonderful species that we are. We forgot to embrace our individuality and uniqueness.
My mission is dedicated to not only helping you find that inner and outer equilibrium but preserving it too. It's about encouraging people of all ages into a more healthy and happy lifestyle through physical exercise, mental wellness, mindset, achievable goals and listening from the heart.